March 9
Blackboard:
Masculinity As Homophobia (pp. 81-92)
OR click here for HTML version
Online:
How do media images of men affect our lives?
Becoming A Man By August (download PDF)
Gender Roles
The Search for Masculinity
Growing up masculine
The test of masculinity
Hiding their tender selves
Many ways to be a man
Men’s movements
National Organization for Men Against Sexism
Website of Dr. Jackson Katz: Researcher & Activist—Masculinity & Violence
March 11
No new readings. Please review the directions for the next three assignments:
Women Rock the Runway
A Thousand Splendid Suns
Hollywood & History: Representing Unapologetic Women & Men
We'll go over each of these assignments TH and review examples.
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28 comments:
In the book “Race, class, and gender in the United States” I found it interesting that they say men have to prove their manhood over and over again. It makes sense to me that they say that, because I think men do it to fit in and not be called names. If they do something that could not be considered masculine than they have to do something else that is very masculine. I thought it was interesting how Marketplace Manhood came about and how it was like the start of men having to prove themselves to other men. It has created what society thinks of men today and what is defined as masculine, the thing that surprises me is that it’s lasted so long. I think today we still have that same attitude toward masculinity I’m surprised that it hasn’t changed very much through the decades. I thought the four rules were interesting, they definitely describe what society thinks a really man is. I thought number two was most interesting it says men have to have power, success and wealth and these three things are hard to come by this day only a few really have all three. I think all the rules are stupid but I think two is the worst because it’s about impossible for every man to have those qualities. I thought there definition of homophobia was interesting, I always thought it was the hatred of gay men but how they described it makes a lot of sense that it’s really the fear of letting other men see their fear. I find there definition to be a lot better than what it’s become through the years. I really don’t think some people who say they are afraid of gays really are, I think there just afraid to show a different side of themselves. In the end of this part it says that peace of mind and relief from the gender struggle will only come through inclusion and not running away from everything. I really like this part I just wish more people could understand this but most are still stuck in a world were white, middle class men are still on top (the president is the only exception, but for how long, I think in the next election a white man will be back on top).
I liked the article on “Becoming a Man” I found what he had to say to be very interesting especially in the end were he talks about how every boy is trying to find the test to become a man and how most tests take the young men away from their families so that they, I think, can become independent. I don’t think this is true for every boy, I think it differs depending on who you are. Like my brother he never left home for many years but we all still see him as a man.
The article about gender roles wasn’t really new to me; I had heard most of these arguments and ideas before. It surprised me to read that teenage boys commit suicide at five times the rate of teenage girls. That was new to me and I was very surprised, suicide is never a good thing but I had always thought that teenage girls defiantly did it more than boys. I think my idea of this came from when I was in junior high and high school boys seemed so happy and knew what they wanted but so many girls I say seemed liked the depressed ones. Boys never looked depressed to me but I guess there just better at hiding it.
I enjoyed the PBS articles especially the one “Many Ways to Be a Man” I like how it gives advice on how to help young boys be who they are. Like by showing them that it’s ok to be emotional and that it’s ok to not be tough. I think all boys need to learn these things, I think it will help them grow up and be better men.
I had read this chapter in a Sociology of Gender class and still find it to be good. I found it interesting to re-read that the rising model of ‘marketplace manhood’ remains devoted to the more ‘valuable’ public sphere which has excluded women, non-whites, homosexuals, etc. as they’re seen as weak. I like the point that men try to live up to impossible standards for what makes a man: heterosexual, middle-class, white, etc. I also like how it says it seems being a man has rules including ‘no sissy stuff,’ ‘be a big wheel’ (power), ‘be a sturdy oak’ (few emotions), and ‘give ‘em hell.’ I agree that it seems to be what, not who, one is that makes him a man. I agree that this manhood encompasses homophobia as men fear being seen as sissy, and gay men are incorrectly seen that way. If men are racist/sexist/homophobic, they may feel they have power and are ‘real men.’ Finally I liked that it said that inclusion is a big need in alleviating these problems.
I liked the article about stereotyped males in the media are more common. I learned this is because they’re easier to create and are better responded to. Media supports these unrealistic ideas of what makes a man and can be a cause of discrimination or make men less well-rounded. I also agree that ‘less manly’ men are often used for humor.
The PDF about boys feeling they must ‘pass a test’ to become a man was interesting. I liked that the author pointed out other cultures have rituals and so some men turn to self-created ones: bar mitzvahs (Jewish), missionary service (Mormon), military service, etc. and I realized that these indeed are seen as tests to becoming a man.
The article about changes in gender roles over the past years was fascinating to read. I learned that parents fear more for the safety of infant girls than boys and I feel maybe this is why infant boys are more likely to die. Working at CAPSA I have witnessed the unfortunate pattern of daughters of abused mothers (by husbands) are more likely to be in abusive relationships themselves this article discussed. I found it fascinating to read about single-sex classes at schools and that they have positive effects for both boys and girls.
The 5 articles about “Understanding and Raising Boys” were great to read. In the first, I liked the side-note about loving the kid you’ve got and not trying to force them into being a different man. In the second I agree that boys learn from a very young age what is expected of them, even in preschool. The third reiterated that boys feel the need to pass tests. I found it sad to read the most important is to prove they aren’t feminine, they get increasingly violent, they’re daily, and misbehavior can be a consequence. The fourth focused on ‘emotional illiteracy,’ a term I feel fits. Boys hide feelings or express them in violent ways like fighting and this in turn makes it so they don’t recognize their own/others’ feelings. The fifth was especially interesting to me as a social worker, as it had ideas to help. It said to help boys by acknowledging the difficulties, and reassuring them of security/support with us (especially for ‘nontraditional’ males). It also pointed out the need to assure a wide range of emotions is normal, to introduce other roles/values that challenge myths of being a man, and be good role models.
The NOMAS (National Organization for Men against Sexism) site was great to look at. There were great article topics, especially those focusing on violence against others. This made me think of how our male volunteers at CAPSA are working hard to do what this organization and the articles about ending violence aim for. I also thought that this organization had some interesting task groups too.
I have read some of Jackson Katz’s works and seen video clips of him lecturing, and think he has a lot of good information. It was interesting to read about other things he’s involved with such as being director of the first worldwide domestic and sexual violence program in the Marine Corps. I think it would be very fascinating to attend a live lecture/workshop done by him.
I found the Masculinity as Homophobia an interesting article. I thought that it was interesting that there has been different types of masculinity through the ages and they get more radical then the last. I think that the masculinity when we first came to America was the best one to have. This masculinity was based on the amount of land that you owned. These kind of men were around more and cared for their families and they didn’t seem to be as concerned with what other men thought. But as time goes by the definition of masculine changes to be more then just land owners. There ideas are nothing feminine at all. If there is some of that in you then you are a sissy or even worse in their eyes a gay person. This idea all boils down to the fact that men are afraid of other men and how they will be perceived. To the man that is a manly man he labels everyone else that isn’t like him and tears them down. I found that this was interesting that men need to make sure that other men perceive them as manly or else. I understand why a man would want to be manly. No one likes to be labeled and the only way not to be labeled was to follow what was popular and the norm. I also think that men were fearing other men in their life that weren’t the same as them. I feel like today that there is less judgment on what is acceptable for being a man.
The articles about how to raise boys and their masculinity were insightful. I did think that it is very good to help your son see other different roles that men have that aren’t what they might think are masculine. I also thought that is upsetting that there is no use trying to pretend and tell your boy that there aren’t gender roles. I find that it is sad that we can’t let boys and men be who they are and if they cry or do something feminine that should be acceptable.
In the article Becoming a Man by August I didn’t not know that there was a struggle between boys becoming men and that critical event. I do not have any brothers and being Mormon I guess that it really isn’t a big deal for guys because they go on missions. I did like that the boy in the story is rotationally changing to become a man was one that would help him become a better person. I hadn’t realized that other things like smoking or drinking could be the right of passage for boys.
The Article about men and media images was interesting. I hate that the media has a strong grip on us. I think that it is apparent that the media targets women poorly and unrealistically but it is less obvious that men are being targeted too. I don’t know if this targeting is strongly effecting men and boys and how they are perceiving themselves.
We've all had our days where some stereotypes are used more than others, such as the men and women stereotypes.
The other day a couple of friends and I were reading jokes about women, some of which were so degrading i just wanted to kick a wall! But at the same time they were really funny. When we read jokes about men were read they made men sound better then some really are, and there were more truth in those then in the women jokes.
It surprises me that so many people both men and women follow these stereotypes. Although a women goes to school it doesn't seem to matter, because most of the time she'll become a house wife, while the man makes all the money whether or not they're at a job they love or a job they hate.
Reading these entries it helps you understand more about what a boy goes through all of his life. It makes it easier to understand why a man isn't necessarily unemotional, but hides them.
All of my life I've grown up as, I'm not even sure what to call it. I guess you can say I'm the boyish one out of my family. I wrestle with the guys, hang out with mostly men, among other things. And at the same time I do do some of the womanly things. So what does this make me?
We've all seen the way that most guys react to one another. Whether or not it's their man hugs, or constant pushing when about to get in to a fight. Most of the relationships men have they need to incorporate some sort of violence.
It's hard to incorporate what we know about men and what is newly found however we need to find ways to incorporate these things, and teach them to our children.
The topic of masculinity has been particularly interesting to read about. It often feels like there is more social pressure on women’s bodies and their sex appeal. However, I do not have to suffer from the social pressure of being more masculine, and it is just as prevalent as the pressure for women to have a perfect body. In fact, the pressure for men to be more masculine comes from more sources than the media. I think women deal primarily with media expectations. Men are being pressured from a number of areas. It can come from family, friends, neighbors, classmates, media, and unfortunately, even some women.
The article by Kimmel, Masculinity as Homophobia, mentioned qualities that define masculinity. Being masculine means a man cannot express any femininity, has to be powerful and successful, reliable, and willing to take risks. It seems to me that many qualities that appear masculine also come from the pressure to support a family. I have known men that seek a career that will make them rich purely because they are stressed over supporting a family. Even though this can be an old fashioned idea, there seems to be a sense of pride that is rooted into men to be the primary “bread winner.” This same article mentioned that men are expected to do things to be granted manhood. And being granted manhood usually entails they will receive a woman. It is often implied from societal ideas that if a man is not masculine, he will not be capable of having a woman.
I found it very interesting that Kimmel also states, “homophobia and sexism go hand in hand.” I had never considered this before, but it is completely true. Kimmel also says that being homophobic is not just being scared of homosexuals, it is also fearing that you will personally be perceived as gay. I think that being perceived as gay is the larger fear. Some people seem to be so afraid of homosexuals because they dislike the thought of being “hit on,” or they fear a homosexual will make a move on them.
After reading the articles about masculinity, it was interesting to me that masculinity is primarily how a man acts. It is based more on personality traits and a lifestyle. Women suffer more pressure on how they look. Along with this idea, the National Organization for Men Against Sexism and Jackson Katz suggest that to overcome sexism, men must stop promoting pornography and the sex industry. For anyone to fight against sexism, anything that is degrading to one sex or race must not be supported. I was unaware of such organizations like NOMAS. It is a relief that there is such a movement occurring. I was especially impressed with the work the organization does to help end domestic violence. If sexual inequality and violence is going to end, it has to stop in the home first. The article said that women are more likely to be murdered by their husband than by any other person. What does that say about our society? I hope that the movement to fight the stereotypical ideals of masculinity continues and creates more positive expectations for men.
Men are stereotyped as much as women are. We see this is TV just like it stated in all of the articles that we read. You begin to notice that most of the men are all the same. They have to act a certain way, look a particular way, and have the same type of personality. I also have noticed how differently boys and girls are treated when they are born, and I tend to do it as well. The way we treat someone from the very beginning of when they are born will determine how they will turn out for the rest of their lives because they know of nothing else. So if we start treating every baby the same way and expose them to the same things then they can determine for themselves how they want to look and act. If society would just relax on the way we all “need” to be or look like things would be so different. I think that the media is the one that puts most of the pressure on how they think things should be. Even though there is that pressure to be that way the more people who go outside of that norm the more likely things will start to change. We shouldn’t feel that pressure to be something that we are not. Being different from the normal does not have to be a bad thing; it can actually be a good thing especially if you look at today’s society and what they expect. Men do not have to be that masculine, strong, and show no emotion. Everyone likes to see some individuality to people. If everyone was the same the world would be boring you would just see the same thing every day.
The article "How Do Media Images Of Men Affect Out Lives." It was very interesting to read about how men are so stereotyped on the television. As you sit and watch you are able to see that every man is lazy, does not do anything to help their wife, they are consumed with watching T.V. and drinking beer. Not all men are like that at all, there are men out there that love to be with the family and who care about others needs. In the society today many people are narrow minded and do not open up and see the other side of things and how men really are. We should really stop stereotyping men and preciving them so negatively. I also enjoyed the reading becoming a man by august. After reading it I was stunned to think that there is not a credited point in a young boys life when they become a man. When and how do they know when you become a man? As the man sat on the plane with the young boy I thought it was interesting that the boy said he would become a man at the age of 18- to me this seemed a little weird, it seems to me that you become a man at the age of twenty. But is there really a certain time or age when a young man turn into a man? This article really got me thinking about young men and how and when they turn into men. In my opinion I think it is all up to the boy and their level of maturity. As it says there is never a set age when that transition takes place. I also enjoyed reading about how to understand and raise boys, as we all know boys grow and learn at different stages so develop faster then others, but they all come to terms that you have to follow with the masculine identity, it does not take long for the boys to develop this and for them to fulfill that role. It was so interesting to learn about masculinity and how boys develop into men and to see that transformation, and that it comes at different times for everyone. It was good and interesting to read all about this topic.
I think that it is very beneficial to talk about this subject, because when we talk about gender issues we usually only talk about the female side of the subject. But men, just as women, have stereotypes and social rules that they are told to follow. I found it very interesting that when watching TV you will see more men then women. And most of the time these men are strong, non emotional, and tough.
I am in Sociology and when the TA asked the class if it right to talk about masculinity as well as femininity when talking about gender, only a few raised their hand. I think it is important to talk about both sides when talking about gender, and was surprised that only a few people in the class had raised there hands.
Women are not the only gender with issues. Everyone has issues. People will always have problems no matter what sex they are. When reading the article about the boy becoming a man, I realized that I had never thought of that being a big issue, but I guess it would be hard to not know exactly were you fall in those regards. People like structure and like to know where they fall. Men also have their issues in eating disorders and the obsession with getting ripped.
I also found interesting that baby boys are more fragile than girls, yet we treat them in the opposite way. We even would take care of the girl baby more quickly then if that same child was a boy.
Out of all the articles this week, my favorite was PBS's "Many ways to be a man". I think we should teach are boys and men that there are different ways to be masculine. There is not just one way, there are so many different ways to be 'Manley'.
You always hear about the effects of the media on the way women feel about themselves, how hard it is for women to live up to the unrealistic expectations of todays society, and how much of a problem body image is for women today. You never hear about how body image effects men but it is a really big problem in todays society. The article “Hod do Media Images of Men Affect Out Lives?” was very interesting because it is a mans perspective on body image and how it effects men. The article talks about how men on television are completely stereotyped and not like real men at all, they hire expectations (of men and women) of what “real” men should be like even though there is no way someone could be that perfect in real life. Men tend to rate themselves and their success based on how men are portrayed in the media and how they compare to that ideal. They are also taught how to be a “real” man from the media so they judge themselves, and others based on stereotypes. They are taught that it is wrong to be unmanly, meaning they must be in control in every situation, they must be strong, tough (a.k.a. violent), watch sports and play video games all the time, and they must never show their emotions. These strict stereotypes lead to a lot of discrimination which can harm people both mentally and physically.
I think that the story, “Becoming a Man by August” was a good story that probably represents the feelings of many boys today. I thought that it was interesting that the boy in the story thought the only way to become a man was to challenge himself and to get through a very difficult situation. He felt that the only way to be a man was to prove that he was tough and that he could overcome any challenge. I think that his perspective is one that is held by many boys in todays society who are striving to prove that they are “real” men. They feel that if they are strong enough to get through one situation they will have the courage and ability to get through anything which makes them a man.
Another article that I found very interesting was the one about gender roles. I think that gender roles play a huge part in American society and that they have a really big impact on everyones life. The playing out of gender roles is seen everywhere, on television and movies, in the home and workplace, so people feel they must conform to these roles in order to be accepted by their peers and family members. It is good to see how much gender roles have changed in the past and to know that they continue to be changed and challenged today. It is really important for people (everyone, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc.) to be accepted for who they are and not be judged based on the stereotypes portrayed in the media or in society as a whole. An interesting fact that I found in this article was that because boys are taught not to show any emotion, they do not know how to deal with their emotions so they commit suicide. Teenage boys commit suicide at five times the rate teenage girls do! And it is all because society tells them that if they show emotion, they are not men. The article also said that the old role of men as “macho men” is not longer accepted in todays society and men are really struggling with learning how to “reinvent” themselves and the image of what it means to be a man.
This week’s readings were interesting to me because I was able to see a little bit of the other side. In this class we have been talking about females and femininity, so it was interesting to see a little bit of insight into the world of the men. The first article I read was about how men are portrayed in the media. I was shocked to know that about 90% of the time, a male is the first thing you see when you turn on the television. I also found it interesting to read about the many different ways that men are stereotyped. I agreed with the article when it stated that many men are discouraged from good traits, because they are not necessarily typical. Men aren’t supposed to show emotion or be afraid. I think, however, that men who do show emotion have more depth and are more interesting. The article about the search for masculinity also really interested me. In class we have talked about whether gender is given, or whether it is learned. This article talked about how gender is influenced by society and how people treat different genders, just like we discussed in class. The part of this article that was most interesting to me was when it talked about the pressure many young boys feel. I never thought about it that way. Some boys get pressured and stress out trying to be the “typical” boy. Until they are a little bit older, they don’t realize that it is okay to be a little bit different. Now that this has been brought to my attention, I think that this is very sad. Little boys should be able to grow up and become who they really are, and not be pressured into fitting the so called “norm.”
This idea continued on in the next few articles that I read. I found the article “The Tests of Masculinity” to be very informative as well. It talked about the different types of “tests” that boys either try to pass, or just ignore them completely. Before reading these articles I hadn’t really thought about the things boys do as tests. After having read these articles, however, I can look back on my life and see the things the boys did, and compare them very easily to these “tests” that the boys do. I also really enjoyed the last article entitled “Many Ways to Be a Man.” It told of ways that you can try and combat these tests, and help your boys grow up the way that they want to. Through reading this, I found that parents must really take an active role, if they want to do this for their children. It isn’t something that can be addressed once and then forgotten. The boys must be reminded daily and reassured often. I found this article really insightful and helpful, and I think the world would be a better place if more people would realize that all boys don’t need to fit the “norm.” In fact, it would be better if more men didn’t fit the normal tough guy appearance. I really found it interesting this week, to get a look into the pressures that boys and men feel, and compare them to my own experiences with a brother and friends, and also compare their struggles with the struggles that females go through.
Growing up I have always struggled to get away from the idea of how girls are supposed to be so that I can just be myself. I can say that I have never before given it much thought on the struggle that boys have growing up. I loved the quote from Michael Anderson “..Love the kid you got.” It seems like a lot of parents do spend their time trying to pressure their children into fitting into the molds that society expects them to be. It’s very true that right from the beginning society begins to shape the way we view our sexuality, male or female. The article “Understanding and raising boys” talks about how society shapes the way masculinity is viewed. Girls get so mad at men for treating women like sex toys, and while I’m opposed to men acting like this, can we really be surprised that they act this way? It seems as if society expects boys to act like this, the way boys are being raised teaches them that not only is it ok to act like this, its expected. In the article “Hiding their tender selves” it is mentioned that boys think it’s ok for girls to be sensitive and cry but not for men. Sensitive men are often looked down on as being weak or not “manly”. I can’t begin to count the times that I’ve heard a boy being called a sissy girl because he is crying. It seems that many boys growing up are taught to hide who they really are so that they can fit into society’s mold of what a boy should be. Boys don’t cry, they don’t show emotions, they don’t wear pink, they don’t play with girls, and they don’t act like “girls.” It seems like everyone today is so concerned about making sure that their sons don’t turn out to be gay that they go overboard trying to make sure they act “manly.” Maybe if we let boys grow up being whoever they want to be we would end up with a more balanced society. I thought it was interesting to read about the “tests” that boys go through when growing up. I had never really thought about boys going through these tests but when I stopped and thought for a second it actually didn’t surprise me. We do tend to put more pressure on are boys to act a certain way, where women are supposed to be pretty, boys are supposed to be tough, where girls play with dolls, boys are supposed to roughhouse. It’s the old saying “boys will be boys.” I think it was really interesting to look at gender roles from a different perspective this week.
I found it interesting to see the articles today. I have always been intrigued by the treatment the male gender receives from itself and society. It has always seemed an unchangeable world, perpetuated by stereotypes. It is these very stereotypes that made me begin questioning my own gender. While I arrived at a conclusion that is rather unorthodox I applaud the listed groups efforts(particularly NOMAS) to change these and other forms of sexism/hetero-sexism/racism and many other issues.
The gender role article reiterated information presented in this class at several times already. While I do understand the importance of the information, it does seem like we have had enough repetition of that particular subject matter, at least from my perspective. I must admit to a slight terror at the thought of having missed something, simply because the subject makes my eyes glaze over slightly.
Comparably the other articles were fascinating. Marketing Manhood with it's points on attempting to obtain the unobtainable unrealistic fiction was already done. It's unique choice of subject matter, men instead of the more focused on women, was all it really took to set it apart. It and the previous "Race, class, and gender in the United States", seemed to scream of an archaic brutal system that's very organization prevents the change. After all to complain about the system is to come off as incredibly weak and to be weak is not to be a man.
I learned a lot especially about this topic, considering it was my group's topic. As a girl, I was never really interested nor did I even think about how difficult it would be to be a guy. I was always concerned about how hard it was as a female to live up to the perfect image of a beautiful woman without realizing that men are under the same pressure as well. They have just as much media influence telling them that they are weak and wimpy and that no woman will be interested in them if they don't have giant biceps or washboard abs.
I really enjoyed the "Masculinity is Homophobia" article. It's so true that masculinity is not just about proving your manhood, but rather living in the fear of possibly being acused of being gay. I can't imagine being teased or made fun of for being emotional and sharing my feelings. Having emotions is part of being human, and being a man doesn't take those away, so I see no reason why men feel they have to hide them.
The articles for parents about boys and raising them to be men-good ones and not just society's definition of men-was interesting because it gave a parental point of view. I hope that if I someday have a little boy, he will be able to be himself without worrying about how he measures up to the other boys out on the playground. From such a young age, boys have to compete athletically to be considered popular or cool at school.
There are some attributes I feel though that men are expected to be that are not necessarily negative things. Being a good provider and father for one. Perhaps not the super-dad and super-rich provider, but somewhere between there and a deadbeat would be nice. I don't think masculinity itself or the desire to be masculine is a bad thing, but the extreme macho image of masculinity greatly discourages those who don't come close to fitting that image.
I'm glad I was able to do this topic because it allowed me to be more open to considering the pressure men must feel. They feel the influence of media just as strong as women do-and sometimes maybe even worse.
We have talked so much about how women are treated in society that i think we forget about how unfair men can be treated to. Men can be very sterotyped, especially on TV. These "tv men" affect our expectations of what a man really is and what they should and should not be like. These sterotypical men are shaping a man's view about how they should act.
In the readings it tells us that the sterotype of a man is to always act manly. When I think of a manly man, i usually think of some pig jerk that thinks he's better then everyone else around him and that he can treat girls like crap.
It made me really think when they asked when the transition is between boyhood and manhood. That some religions have some specific points when a boy becomes a man but that the American culture doesnt have a universal ritual that specifically states when boys become men.
In the reading about the boy that was going to become a man through his test of his canoeing trip, i never thought about boys putting themselves through tests to become a man. And in further reading that these tests vary in communities. Depending upon what is the "manly" thing to do in that community whether it be from being an athlete, or hunter, etc, all boys must go through these tests to become a man. The most important test though is to not be feminine, because when we act feminine at all you're automatically targeted as being gay. That showing any kind of emotion is not manly because supposedly its a feminine trait. Boys at all ages pay attention to what society expects from them and act accordingly, and most of these expectations, comes from the media. Boys knwo the rules for masculinity and no matter how hard a parent wants them to not be a part of the sterotyped male, the parent can in no way give the boy a wavier to stay away from it, its just the way it is.
So when asked where do gender roles come from, we all know that it starts in early childhood stages. That our parents are our biggest influences. It was sad to read about the boys who wanted a pink bicycle but when they had it, they were teased by the girls in the neighborhood, because pink is a girl color. Boys/Men should be able to like whatever color they want, its just a color. Its sad to hear that peers react more positive to children who fir the traditional roles. Let children be whoever they want to be, they are kids, they shouldnt have to fit into the sterotype at such a young age, let them be who they want to be, act how they want to act. No wonder why teenage boys commit suicide 5 times the rate that girls do, they cant show any emotion, the expectations of keeping their feeelings inside, something needs to be done.
I had no idea there was a National Organization for Men against Sexism. When looking over that web page I clicked on the link to the 12 steps to end sexism, and i thought it was interesting the things that they had in there which included: supporting women, dont be rude or crude, share responsibility, be a good/kind father, and oppose pronography and the sex industry. I think these were great steps to ending sexism, now if men would only do it.
Jackson Katz seems like a stand up guy. Its amazing of hom to stand up agisnt the typical standards for athletes and try to change their image, from having violent atheletes to keeping violence out of high school, college and professional sports.
So the question is "What does it mean to be man?". I definitely do think that there is ony answer, i think it should depend upon what the man thinks, not what society thinks.
I had a great time reading the articles this week. I found them all to be full of good information. I grew up with only sisters, so I never really learned a lot about boys. My dad was always around, but since he had all girls, he adjusted to other things. My grandma loved finally having girls in her life, so she treated us like total girls. I did not have a lot of boy influence in my life until 7th or 8th grade probably when a lot of boys became my friends. It was an adjustment for me to have so many boys around. Anyway, these articles have taught me a lot about masculinity.
The section from the book really got me thinking about the males in my life and what I have seen them do to prove or show their masculinity. Now that I think about it, they do have to do it over, and over, and over again. I have one really good friend who seems to have “manly” competitions every couple weeks with other males to find out who can do what crazy trick, who has the strongest arm muscles, who can stand on their head and do upside down push-ups, and other random crazy things. He is usually the winner, because he does not ever give up. If someone can do 15 upside down push-ups, he’ll do 17 no matter how much it hurts or how hard it is. This “manly” competition has become somewhat of a ‘sport,’ like it says in the article. I did not realize that men feel their masculinity has to be proved time and time again, so it was fun for me to see how what is talked about in this article is real in the life of someone I know.
I do agree that the media definitely has a huge impact on how we view and what we expect from men in relationships, at work, at home, and what stereotypes they are given. This article was a good eye opener for me and made me wonder if I treat men certain ways because of what I see on TV. I am going to watch myself closer to see what I do. If I do find myself treating them a certain way, I am going to change that, because the media exaggerates things and adds stereotypes that do not need to be there, so I do not see why I should be treating men the way I see it happen on TV.
I really liked the 17-year-old’s definition of being a man, “At the end of the day, it’s taking responsibility and taking things you’ve learned from others and creating your own self…It’s about doing work and getting a result.” I think this definition applies to more than just men. In a way, I would say that it applies to everyone that is being true to themselves and trying to be a better person. I like that the child psychologist had his ideas on what it meant to be a man, but he did not discourage the boy he was talking to by putting his own thoughts into the boy’s head. He just let the boy say what he thought and went with it. I thought that was great because a lot of the time, adults ask us a question, let us answer, but then tell us how our answer is wrong and their answer is right.
My major is Child Development, so the articles from PBS Parents were really exciting for me to read and to see how they go along with everything I have learned about in my classes. My best advice for helping boys find their masculinity is to simply, let boys be boys! It is hard to force them to keep clean, stay out of trouble, and express emotions effectively, so do not force them, let them be who they are. Of course parents need to set certain limits and have rules, but do not force them to be something they are not.
As I read in the article, Men are not forgiven to be stereotypes.. and I understand because you see a really cute guy in a tv show like one tree hill for example . Chad Michael Murray is a tall blonde and he’s one the jocks but he’s way laid back. So when a girl sees that their standards go up and when she goes to school she tries to find her Chad in all the regular Joes she goes to go school . I’m just really glad that men are not an exception to being the stereotype.i just think guys are also set at high standards just like women. I read Becomin a Man . it hit me, boys do struggle to fit that macho profile. We as girls have fifteens in my culture and that sets us apart to becoming women but what do men really have. Like the article said they set some test that will cause them to take responsibility and corage . I happened in my household my mom Is a single mother and hard working women that raised a boy and a girl almost about the same age. I received my rite of passage , I had a fifteen with all the struggle with money I got to wear a 900 dollar dress and small party to remember . that was my rite of passage but what has my brother received for his ive never reall y thought about it but hes always rebelled and always got in trouble but my brother got his own taste of medicine when their was a terrible accident involving his girl friend I think that was my brothers rite a passage he became a man when he took responsibility that day . And that changed him a lot so I think that that was it. Many guys have their dad step dads to help them out but some like my brother have to do it on their own because taking help from someone like my mom a women would be cheating I think. I understand where this article is coming from and has inspired me to thank my brother because he has been the father I never had. When I was reading one of the articles I just always felt that girls were the ones put up to high standards and that guys received the easy job. Of just being lazy handyman. But they have it hard , they have roles already set by birth how hes going to dress what sport hes going to play, how hes going to act. Its already set for him and that is the only way to manhood he gets . so its not as easy to be a man because we have it more lineant I acted like a boy growing up wearing my brothers clothes playing with his toys never brushing my hair but how would my brother be looked at if he did all the girly things I didn’t do. Boys are just put through test, and if they don’t past they can be called feminine and that would be un acceptable. Boys do try to hide their feelings but ive been in first hand of boys just are ticking bombs if they don’t ever show their feelings but they are told that men aren’t emotional so what do we expect that is why the become all these rebels Its just hard becausewhat if they grow up to be emotional . its just hard to read boys these days because they don’t talk because they see that as a sign of weakness. Ilike one the last articles because it gives you the options how to approach boys when their young and tell them feelings are okay but also being the quarterback of a football team in highschool doesn’t define him. Either. I like reading these because I saw my brother make mistake after mistake rebel up and except no help I saw him struggle with the feelings but now hes it the man that im glad he is .
In the article “How do Media Images of Men Affect Our Lives”, I agree with the author on the point he made about sexual stereotyping occurring both in men and women. I like that he pointed out that stereotypes’ from the media affect women’s expectations of men in relationships, work, and friendships. You take TV shows, books, movies, etc. and ask many of the women today of what they want in a guy; what they describe to you will depict characters from our media. Even the men are looking at the men depicted in the media as to tell them how they should act, dress, live, love, etc. After reading “Becoming a Man by August”, I found it to be quite thought provoking and true. I talked to a few of my male friends, cousins, and even co-workers, they agreed with the article that all young men at some point in their life look for some “test” to prove that they are indeed a “man”. It makes sense that they would feel this way, society and media puts so much pressure on the importance of “becoming a real man” … as if what, they don’t pass a certain test and are stuck as a boy forever, ha ha ha right! In the article on gender roles, the quote from Reaching up for Manhood, by Geoffrey Canada, stood out to me, “The image of male as strong is mixed with the image of male as violent. Male as virile gets mixed with male as promiscuous. Males as intelligent often gets mixed with male as arrogant, racist, and sexist." Small wonder that so many men in western society are flailing about for a new definition. However, today's parents have the opportunity to show their sons that they don't have to be violent to be strong. Rather than taking the attitude that "boys will be boys" if their son gets into a fight, parents can take the chance to teach their child new ways to solve conflicts--without using fists.” I love this idea and think that it is a great way to change those past stereotypes. I found all the articles on masculinity interesting but a couple of them seemed to be repetitive. I did like the point that the article on growing up masculine pointed out that "Boys want to grow up to be like their male role models. And boys who grow up in homes with absent fathers search the hardest to figure out what it means to be male." In the article on understanding and raising boys, I picked out something that I’ve always found odd and hard to understand. The point that some boys hide their intelligence and even go to the length of misbehaving to “earn back the respect for his masculinity”, I saw this when I was in elementary school, and still don’t completely understand it. According to the article it also said that it depends on how they were raised. We obviously the complete opposite in some males where they are the brainy, know-it-alls and teachers pets, also referred to as the nerds. I personally like when any person, male or female is smart, educated, and proud to be so. That doesn’t mean that I’m ok with people being cocky and arrogant about it though. I liked this quote from the understanding and raising boy’s article, “We need to explain to boys that developing their emotional lives will allow them to be better men, to be well-rounded, more mature, and better able to raise a family and keep a job”. I agree with many points this article made. I found The NOMAS (National Organization for Men against Sexism) site extremely interesting to look at. There were many great articles and topics, especially those focusing on violence against others. I liked that they did monologues against violence. I am a social work intern at CAPSA and this reminded me of how our male volunteers as well as the one-in-four team are working hard to do what this organization is doing and aiming for, putting a stop to violence, racism, and enhancing people’s lives. I felt that Jackson Katz’s has a lot of good information. It was interesting to read about things he’s involved with. I think it would be very fascinating to attend a live lecture/workshop done by him. He sounded like a very interesting individual with an inspiring career.
I've been really looking forward to learning and reading about men and their roles. In fact, I think I'm so interested because I feel bad for them....I mean women can not only do "girly" things but they can also do "manly" things, while if a man does "girly" stuff, he's ridiculed/judged and thought of as feminine and not normal.
The ideal male is portrayed everywhere in the media, especially on television. If a man on TV tries to cook, clean, or make something crafty he either fails or is made fun of. This is what boys grow up with and are expected to be. The all-American boy plays football, basketball, baseball, etc. He is handsome, gets good grades, helps work on cars, can build anything, and knows his way around a garage. But not every boy or man is like this. Just like not all girls and woman are the same.
My dad was up here in Logan on business and he took me out to lunch today and we chatted about this a little bit. I'm the youngest of four and I have two sister and one brother. My dad is a retired police chief, he teaches at the local college, he teaches hunter safety and he's an investigator for the state of Utah. He grew up watching westerns and doing "manly" things. My dad wanted to make sure that his daughters were tough and could take care of themselves so he taught us about cars, guns, self-defense, etc. We are well-rounded girls, but when my mom wanted to take my brother to musicals with us girls or take the family to the ballet....my dad didn't like that. It wasn't until 3 years ago when my parents went to New York and my mom dragged my dad to the Broadway musical "Mama Mia" that my dad realized that those "girly" things weren't that bad. In fact, when I gave him the DVD of "Mama Mia" two Christmases ago, he was ecstatic and made the whole family sit down and watch it! While my brother was in high school, his favorite movie was "Fiddler on the Roof." My brother was also on the varsity football and wrestling teams and still holds records at our high school. He still enjoys watching some musicals and he even made my sister-in-law a quilt by himself! But that doesn't make him any less of a man, in fact at the fire station where he works there are a lot of men who are just like him! Men who grew up thinking that they shouldn't be associated with anything feminine, have come to find out that they do enjoy a lot of things women do and it doesn't make them feel any less of a man. There are many people who still have their beliefs about gender roles, but society is moving in a more positive direction. Boys should be raised in an environment where they can explore anything and everything the way girls can without being ridiculed. I personally believe that the "man's man" isn't attractive and he doesn't have a personality or even his own identity. Men who are well-rounded and enjoy doing a variety of things are very attractive!! I like an interesting man who has the ability to surprise me is hands down better than a man who is predictable!!
I was familiar with men’s issues a little bit before this project. They are frequently discussed in my psychology classes because men are far less willing to seek and follow through with therapy. This not only keeps the men who don’t seek treatment from getting the help they need but it also affects the data about how disorders affect men. This causes problems affecting men to be underestimated, and less is done to research and solve these problems so even the men who do seek treatment get worse service. In doing this project, however, there were several points that really made a lot more sense to me. First the idea that that men are supposed to be powerful and that most of them don’t feel that they are. Kimmel discussed how this leads to all men being frustrated, and that combined with the glorification of violence in the media it leads to men lashing out violently towards both women and other men. The fact is that even the men who do achieve a lot of power don’t feel powerful because there are always other men devaluing what they have achieved because their power threatens the other men’s power. Even if they acknowledge that one man has achieved a type of masculinity then they point out the other dimensions of masculinity in which he might not measure up. And all this violence between men leads to violence towards women too. Both in Kimmel and Katz discussed how if we ignore men then we will never solve the problem of violence towards women. And how so often we hear figures about how many victims of abuse there are each year but we never hear how many perpetrators of violence there are. We need to study what reinforces these negative male stereotypes and work towards giving men the freedom to be better men without the fear of being ridiculed by their peers for it. The article about the search for masculinity had a good point that children need to be educated about the expected gender roles and how that affects them so that they can recognize when they are behaving in a certain way just to conform with the expectations and make decisions with that knowledge. The other article also had a good point about how boys are always competing to be manlier and testing their manhood against each other. I think that if young boys really realized what they were doing they would not only feel less pressure to conform but would be less critical of each other when they don’t.
I really enjoyed researching this topic. It has caused me to look at the specific issues. I was really suprised at how much advertising had changed throughout history. Vintage advertising was more "wholesome" you could say. Producers were more focused on selling a product based on the product itself. In researching I found that the product was the biggest picture on the ad. Nowadays it is more sexual and provocative it seems. It seems like all the ads today feature people with their clothes off to sell the product. Like that catches the eye of the consumer more. Another thing in recent times are endorsements by celebrities. People/ consumers are more prone to buying something a celebrity supports. One section I really enjoyed researching was young boys and how they react to certain situations. Gender roles are "assigned" at such a young age and I was amazed at that. Like the separation starts in preschool. Boys learn that they cant be like girls. They are influenced by society even then. I think we all need to be more accepting of different people. Like if a boy wants to pursue "something out of the ordinary" like choir or acting that should be ok, instead of critcized. Boys young and old shouldnt have to hide their feelings. They should be able to be who they want and express themselves in any way they choose. A sensitive guy is looked at as weak and I think that stereotypes and judgements like these are the root of many hate crimes and bullying. I never realized how much society affects the development of its people. I dont think its something that will change anytime soon either.
Masculinity is more of an unspoken way of life… men know what society thinks they should live up to with the way people act in the media and the way that older brothers or dads choose to teach the younger men. In my own family my older brother thought to be a man he had to get into trouble play sports and fit into what every other guy wants. He act strong and brave, he is very protective of my and my older to sister everyone knew not to mess with one of us because even if one of his closest friends looked at me and my sister in a wrong way they would be knocked out. It was even to the point his friends were protective. Showing that men will try to stick together when it comes to standing up for women because they think it’s what they are supposed to do. Also my brother would never show emotion I have only seen him cry a couple times and even then he tried to hide it. He learned this trait from my dad and uncles and I have noticed when they do feel week and vulnerable because they are upset to almost the point of tears they get violent to cover it up. My brother would put holes in thing while my uncles would get drunk and be destructive to themselves. I’m not proud to admit this but a couple of my uncles would even hurt their wives. It’s crazy to think that the stereotypes put so much pressure on people to the point of self deprivation. There should never be rules that make people feel inadequate especially when they are so contradictory and impossible to achieve as the perfect man stereotype everyone expects them to live up to. Not only does it make them feel inadequate but after so long of trying to fit into the tough role when they meet a girl the girl expects to change that and get upset that they won’t be open to them, then once the guy does change and open up the women no longer wants them because they for some reason see the man as weaker. It’s like the man can’t do anything right in the sight of others. They are either too strong or not strong enough. Back to how men teach the tough guy act I have seen it in my own family; my older brother and his friends would literally push my little brother around because when he was younger he was a bit of a cry baby so they literally beat it out of him. They would hit him and tease him so much he would cry and then they would keep doing it until he stopped crying and now he is that big macho man everyone expects a 15 year old should be. He plays every sport, he is definitely a ladies’ man, and he makes crude jokes and talks himself up. I have also seen for a while that he would say he did things that he thought was dumb just because he thinks that’s how he is supposed to act. He talks about girls a lot and how he does stuff with them and how he has tried doing things such as partying and such. I know my brother wouldn’t do it because he sees the damage but he also doesn’t want to be left out so he says he does. It’s the sad thing about the different images a man must hold and to be cool in high school as a man there are definitely ways that a man should act like mainly the jock! Also getting to know Trent the last couple months I see how he is trying to fit into some of the stereotypes even when I know he doesn’t and he doesn’t even really want to he feels the need to. Even though he is just joking with me trying to show how ridiculous the gender roles are in the process he ends up living up to them himself. In conclusion it was interesting learning about the men’s side of thing and their point of view because it seems in trying to find the minority we have lost sight of the majorities feelings! Like I said it’s just what we expect I don’t even think we notice we are making them feel this way because we tend to focus on how women feel and are being stereotyped more than men. Maybe we should hear more about how the men view things more often and by doing that we could really find equality in the sexes.
I liked reading about the different stereotypes that men have in the media. Since the media is the more popular way of getting certain viewpoints in the lives of young people, it is obvious that the stereotype of masculinity gets ingrained in a boy's life when he is very young. Men are portrayed as feeling little emotion (except anger and dominance) and being strong and logical minded. Sharing emotions is discouraged because it is not "manly" enough. I think many girls can relate to a boyfriend or spouse that when confronted with an emotional topic doesn't talk about it because "I'm a guy, we don't talk about our feelings". Think of how much better relationships could be if society didn't give men these expectations of hiding emotions. It can ultimately resolve in hiding important components of communication that is very important in a healthy relationship.
I also liked the article "Many Ways to be A Man". I liked that it focused a lot on understanding the pressure males face and trying accept them but also encourage them to be themselves. It is important to young people of both sexes to be who they truly are despite what society says their roles should be. It has been proven in many of our readings that these kids usually are the happiest.
Boys are expected to prove their manhood over and over again in a variety of ways such as taking risks, engaging in sexual endeavors (that can be degrading to women), not showing emotions, having a muscular body, and being the breadwinner to support a family. It seems that the level a man is at, no matter how much it took to get to that level, is not good enough for society. There is always another thing that a man has to do to improve himself it seems.
I think if we want to help change the views of masculinity, we need to start when they are children and be encouraging and accepting of who our children want to be.
Its about time we talk about men or boys! can anyone else agree with me. I really enjoyed this weekes readings. What a good reminder it is that women are being stero typed all the time but men are too. How often do we make men out to be these guys who have to be buff wit hhuge muscles, they cant cry, they need to do touch things right! Then what happens if a guy likes to dance? or has a tendency of crying? the world will stero-type him as a whimp or wuss. Who decided these things are not a mans thing to do? I really liked hte article about men in the media. I think its interesting how the media portrays men. I went to the body image fair on monday and once again made me thing how distorted our world has become. What does the media tell you men need to look like. they need to be tall, have nice skin color, have "ripped" bodys and no hair. Hello last time i checked this is anything but normal! any picture you look at in a magazine it will be edited in some form. it drives me crazy when all the women want is the poster boy. the want to marry him and be happy ever after. Well i tell you something ladys never going to happen! i have to give a little credit to men right now. I mean come on they have to deal with being man and masculine from all sides of their lives. One they have it from the day they are born they are todl which toys are ok or waht activities are ok to play. for an example a girl can play sports and still be feminan but if a boy wants to sing and and dance then the masculine look goes right out the door. Not only do they have this presure from family, friends and other people but they also have it from the media. Men have to be the bread winner, they have to do manly things. Women no we may have the presure from media to be thin or to have perfect bodies but we can get away with doing all sorts of things and still be considered feminan. i have to say that for myself i would much rather go after a good hearted man yes looks are important but please if he can dance and sing sign me up!
The documentary “Tough Guise” by Dr. Jackson Katz is very interesting in the fact that he speaks about boys, men and masculinity. He talks about how boys perceive themselves as they are growing up and most often than not have to prove their masculinity by fitting into the typical male stereotypes. He talked about the “box” that boys have to fit into in order to prove their manhood, and if they venture out of the box they are called names like “Fag”, “sissy”- names that demean their manhood or masculinity. He said so boys have to conform to their masculine stereotypes, which innately keeps them trapped in the box. Dr. Katz talked about how boys become men by the examples of “what a man should be” through their upbringing, male role models, father figures and also within the media images portrayed on television and through movies. Dr. Katz elaborated on the fact that boys have to put on this “tough guise” in order to show that they are a man and prove their masculinity at all costs. In the PBS article “Many Ways to be a Man” you find that there are so many way that a boy forms his ideals of how he should act and what he should be at a young age. The article promotes the cultivation of open communication between boys and their parents, allowing them to talk freely and open up about their feelings- letting them know that they can express themselves too. The article also promotes the idea that society should challenge the myth of the tough guy. Another interesting idea that the author incorporates into the article is the importance of supporting boys who don’t fit in or fit the typical boy standards. The rules of masculinity can be extremely tough on boys and it is important to support them and love them regardless. Doing such things as helping them feel secure about their identity while acknowledging that rules do exist is essential. You can apply these certain ideas to your own life within your family and in the future when you have children and are raising sons.
In the article “Masculinity as Homophobia” you read about certain themes like male dominance. Male dominance a lot of times is associated with themes of masculinity and manhood. In the article they talk about a lot of fear, shame and hiding of one’s true self is typically prevalent in the construction of gender. In the article “Gender Roles” the author talks about the different gender roles that a male has in such places as the workplace and at home. In the home the male gender role plays as the disciplinary the “man of the house” who supports the family. You can look at the female gender role and she in the “nurturer” of the children, the epitome of domesticity. The article asks where gender roles come from. They said that the first and one of the most important influences on a person’s perceived gender roles comes from your parents. The article addresses the fact that our parents don’t only teach us talking or walking skills but also teach us about the attitudes and types of behaviors we need to have. Growing up my mom hated when I wouldn’t look nice for church, or wear an appropriate dress on Sunday. It seriously would make her irate whenever I didn’t fix my hair; even still to this day she hates it when my hair is a mess. It’s kind of funny because a lot of times she wants me to look pretty and feminine because if I don’t she feels like it is a reflection upon herself in that she didn’t teach me proper grooming standards. Looking at my brother, he is the typical jock, constantly trying to prove his manhood. When he was little my sister and I used to tease him and call him names like “sissy” or “crybaby” - -and even call him a “little girl”. He hated it and would cry. Seeing how he is now, he has kind of become a victim of our demeaning words. He definitely is placed in the center of the “box” described by Dr. Katz. So for the articles to say that boys figure out their gender identities by their upbringing and their parents, it definitely rings true. I believe the culture is also plays a big part of gender identity and the way a girl or boy identifies with gender. They see what society and culture expects of them and they act accordingly, but in the readings it is more of an issue for boys than it might be for girls.
In the article “Masculinity as Homophobia” you read about certain themes like male dominance. Male dominance a lot of times is associated with themes of masculinity and manhood. In the article they talk about a lot of fear, shame and hiding of one’s true self is typically prevalent in the construction of gender. In the article “Gender Roles” the author talks about the different gender roles that a male has in such places as the workplace and at home. In the home the male gender role plays as the disciplinary the “man of the house” who supports the family. You can look at the female gender role and she in the “nurturer” of the children, the epitome of domesticity. The article asks where gender roles come from. They said that the first and one of the most important influences on a person’s perceived gender roles comes from your parents. The article addresses the fact that our parents don’t only teach us talking or walking skills but also teach us about the attitudes and types of behaviors we need to have. Growing up my mom hated when I wouldn’t look nice for church, or wear an appropriate dress on Sunday. It seriously would make her irate whenever I didn’t fix my hair; even still to this day she hates it when my hair is a mess. It’s kind of funny because a lot of times she wants me to look pretty and feminine because if I don’t she feels like it is a reflection upon herself in that she didn’t teach me proper grooming standards. Looking at my brother, he is the typical jock, constantly trying to prove his manhood. When he was little my sister and I used to tease him and call him names like “sissy” or “crybaby” - -and even call him a “little girl”. He hated it and would cry. Seeing how he is now, he has kind of become a victim of our demeaning words. He definitely is placed in the center of the “box” described by Dr. Katz. So for the articles to say that boys figure out their gender identities by their upbringing and their parents, it definitely rings true. I believe the culture is also plays a big part of gender identity and the way a girl or boy identifies with gender. They see what society and culture expects of them and they act accordingly, but in the readings it is more of an issue for boys than it might be for girls.
sorry i had technical difficulties posting my comments...just ignore the post that is repeated
During the duration of this class I have heard about the prejudices against women, gays, and those of another race, but I never understood how these things could come to be. I never understood what was the heart of the problem. Now after reading chapter eight, Masculinity as Homophobia, in the book "Race, Class, and Gender in the United States: an integrated study" I feel I have come to have more of an understanding about how sexism, racism, and homophobia has come to be. The Marketplace Manhood that has become the epitome of masculinity in America is a never ending competition. I think I miss the old concepts of masculinity. Both the Genteel Patriarch and the Heroic Artisan were wonderful embodiments of masculinity in my opinion. Truthfully I don't like the Marketplace Man. Marketplace Man is neither liberty nor equality. To tell you the truth I used to be very jealous of men. I hated that no matter what I did, men would always see me as inadequate because I'm a woman. Men had all the power, money, and prestige. Now that I've learned more about men and masculinity I find myself wondering if I would ever want that.
I find myself agreeing with the author, Paula S. Rothenburg, that Marketplace Man has become the root cause of sexism, racism, and homophobia. The insecurity that Marketplace Manhood creates has cause quite a few problems not only for those that Marketplace Manhood says aren't "real men", but also for those that are trying to live up to the "real man" image. Just like Kaufman mentions in the book, there is "a paradox in men's lives, a paradox in which men have virtually all the power and yet do not feel powerful." The reason for this at least partially is because the rules of masculinity in America include so few of men. Living up to the four rules of masculinity and trying to constantly prove it to other men in order to gain their approval and thus your masculinity is an incredibly daunting and sometimes impossible task. This struggle will only continue so long as men and American continues it's policy of exclusion and escape. The author says that "Peace of mind, relief from gender struggle, will come only from a politics of inclusion, not exclusion, from standing up for equality and justice, and not by running away."(92)
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